You Know That Site,

Rules For My Unborn Son? I find myself wanting to start Rules for My Unborn Daughter. But that’s unoriginal, and does not actually get down to the problem that I have.

I should start a feature called:

THINGS NO 16 YEAR OLD GIRL SHOULD DO UNLESS YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE RIDICULED BY ME. AND BEING RIDICULED BY ME SUCKS A LOT.

First order of business, Don’t put a picture of your bare ass on the internet.

Second, don’t let an older boy stick his fingers up your vagina and stay out all night with him. Not to mention, you should probably just tell your mom you’re staying out.

You’re breaking my heart you adorable little sluts. 

When I was 16 I was all over older guys and thought that they were sooooo coooool. But I also knew that if he was out of highschool and not really doing anything with his life and willing to hang out with me at 5 am then something wasn’t normal. 

Sometimes you really should just steal your parent’s wine and watch some late night television by yourself. And this is coming from me, the master of getting herself into and out of rapey situations with the finesse of the Dos Equis man. 

I’m all for going out and having fun, but 16 was just a few years ago for me and I’ve certainly grown up a hell of a lot. Calm down and talk about kissing boys with your friends.